I recently had a conversation with a Mormon family member. They told me that they felt I was mocking them and their religion by being open about the problems I see in the church. I let them know that I'm not trying to mock, I'm trying to share my experience and talk about the problems that I see in Mormonism. That conversation led me to making this Facebook post that I decided to share here on the blog as well:
"Please understand that I don't post church stuff on Facebook because I want to mock the church. I think people who chose to believe are sincere in their belief that they believe it is the one true church and that they are trying the best they can to do good. I was in that position too! I believed it was true and had spiritual experiences that felt so real! I prayed and read scriptures every day, I went to church every Sunday, I served in callings, I based my life on the teachings and doctrines. I'm not trying to mock the church when I know how sacred it is to believers.
But I am not a believer anymore, and it has been a long, painful, and sad journey. It still makes me sad a lot of the time that now there are some relationships that are strained or ended because I'm not a believer anymore, and I'm sincerely sorry that my posts have hurt people. I don't want to convey anger, even though there is no denying that I have felt a lot of anger in this process.
I can't go back, and I can't "leave it alone". Once you've seen the problems, you can't unsee them. I share because I want people to understand that I didn't just leave because I got offended, or wanted to sin, or just gave up and stopped believing. I share because I think problems should be brought to light, and there are many problems in Mormonism. I share so that other people who are hurt by the problems in Mormonism know that their pain should not be dismissed and that I care! You are not alone! You don't have to go through the sadness and betrayal on your own. I'm here. There are whole communities of people here for you. Don't let a controlling organization tell you that church is the only way to be happy. You can be happy without an organization that hides information from you and shames you for never being good enough. You don't have to keep suffering in a system that doesn't work for you, especially because it's a religion built on easily falsifiable truth claims and doctrines that come from fallible human beings."
The same thing goes for this blog. I want to be able to tell my story. I want to share the problems that I have seen and bring them to light by writing about it. I'm really glad when people reach out to me. It let's me know I'm not going on this journey alone. I want to reach out to others as well. None of us need to go through this alone.
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