Mormons are not taught to recognize pedophiles.

I propose the name Don't Tell Christofferson for the new Mormon cult First Presidency member because he almost certainly knew his brother molested children.

If you haven't heard, I'm not surprised. I think the church is really going to want this one hushed up. 

A Wade Christofferson, 72, the same age as the (not gay) brother of D. Todd Christofferson, first presidency member of the Mormon cult, was arrested on November 21 (you can check the Friday 11/21 roster of the Salt Lake County Jail here: https://www.saltlakecounty.gov/sheriff/corrections/rosters/). The roster shows the FBI arrested him. Floodlit mentions he likely turned himself in.

If you haven't read the Floodlit reporting, here's their link: https://floodlit.org/a/b428/

From their report, it seems that church leaders, and probably his brother, knew about the sexual abuse, which is a VERY VERY VERY BIG DEAL.

I wish that this weren't real. I wish that this weren't a cult started by pedophiles with a history of protecting abusers.

But it is. And if one of their top leaders has been in the know when children have been in danger, this needs to be screamed from the rooftops.

Don't Tell Christofferson. Even if his brother is innocent, he and all of the leaders of Mormonism should be ashamed of the way this cult protects pedophiles and abusers.

To the Mormons: you have not been taught to see pedophiles. The cult is lying to you about its history. Joseph Smith and Brigham Young were pedophiles and engaged in child sex trafficking. Learn about Fanny Alger, Joseph Smith's teen employee. Look up birthdays of your ancestors. You can calculate the ages of their mothers. Children were raped and impregnated.

Unless they are ok with child rape, Mormons either don't know their history, don't understand consent, or both.

 Mormons who do not consider Joseph Smith and Brigham Young to be child rapists and sex traffickers either 1) do not understand rape and consent, or 2) are ignorant of the child rape and sex trafficking in Mormonism. I do not see how a third option is possible, except that somehow they are ok with child rape? I don't believe that is the case for any of the Mormons I know. It's always one or both of the other options.

Mormon apologists try to claim their prophets weren't raping children because they weren't having sex with the child brides. It's not hard to prove this wrong. Most Mormons with polygamist ancestry can go through their family tree and do the math on birthdays. They were raping children and those children got pregnant.

I keep getting "I'm so sorry for your pain" as a response to bringing up facts about Mormon history. Here is my response.

Leaving Mormonism has given me incredible freedom. Freedom to think and learn (Mormons are soooo scared of their own history and critical thinking applied to their doctrine), freedom to love (I don't have to judge people for their "sins"), freedom to make choices for myself instead of trying to fit in with the cookie-cutter life the church prescribes. 

Lately I've been getting what I assume is the new cult canned response when I talk about Mormon history: "I'm sorry for your pain".

This is an incredibly dismissive response. They are trying to make it seem like leaving the church leads to a life of pain.

That response shows a complete lack of understanding of me and my life and what it's been like for me to leave the church. 

No one's life is completely pain free. I have good days and bad days because that's what it's like to be human.  

For me, it would have been A MILLION TIMES MORE PAINFUL TO STAY IN THE CULT.

I much prefer my freedom away from the racism, bigotry, and sexism inherent in all the cult doctrines of Mormonism.

Leaving caused healing, not pain.

My pain in relation to Mormonism is the frustration of seeing people I love live with their head in the sand while they give up control of their lives to a corrupt and dishonest cult that often hinders rather than helps them in being the good people they want to be.

I wish they had the freedom I now enjoy.

It's so painful to see that they are trapped in the places I used to be trapped, unable to show compassion where they would otherwise show compassion, afraid to ask intellectual questions they would otherwise be unafraid of interrogating.

I DON'T HAVE MY UNDERWEAR DICTATED TO ME BY OLD MEN. That one is so obviously culty and gross.

I don't have to believe that secret handshake are required to get into heaven.

I am not stuck defending people like Brigham Young. I'm free to deride him for the atrocious bloody, genocidal, white supremacist, sexual predator he was.

I don't pay tithing to an obscene wealth-hoarding real estate business under threat of never seeing my family again. I can give money to organizations that actually help people instead of hoarding wealth.

I TALK ABOUT THE CULT TO HELP OTHERS ESCAPE.

Reading and learning helped me leave, and I hope to help others in return as we try to build safe, compassionate, communities that are welcoming to all people. 

I don't see a way to build those kinds of communities while following horrible cult doctrines taught in Mormonism and honoring the horrible men who taught them.

Cults don't want you to listen to people who leave it or to learn history or to use critical thinking applied to their "doctrine". Remember that. Criticism is important and necessary for healthy groups.

If Mormons want to make it about pity, just know that my pity is for the people trapped in the Mormon cult. 

I'm very happy I escaped. My life is better not being in a cult.

Mormons: please stop falling in line with the church's talking points and actually learn to intellectually engage in conversations with people who have criticisms of your church. It has committed atrocities in the past and continues to cause harm that needs to be addressed, not ignored.

Bloody Brigham Young was, by definition, a genocidal white supremacist. The Mormon church is showing their racism by not renaming BYU.

Just a reminder that the Mormon church still has schools named after the genocidal white supremacist Brigham Young. Mormonism is at least one of if not THE deadliest cult in American history.

Brigham Young's bloody reign in Utah and his white supremacist teachings are definitely white washed and hidden when Mormon learn about their own history, but come on guys. Seek the whole truth! Your church needs to at least pretend they aren't racist and rename the schools.

Native lives matter.

The conditions for love in Mormonism are culty.

Mormons will talk about unconditional love while being part of a cult that teaches that you will go to hell (separation from your family for eternity) and can refuse to give you a temple recommend (necessary for doing the eternal sealing to your family) if you drink coffee. 

 

And they have a whole list of other culty conditions. Their cult has never been about unconditional love. It has always been a controlling cult. 

The "Big Happy Mormon Family" is soooo fake.

My experience with growing up in a big Mormon family is that being in a "big happy Mormon family" causes too much emotional stress. 

In my experience, fighting, crying, and not getting enough emotional support was normal. Pressure to appear as a big happy family all the time is the biggest stress. The amount of suppression it takes to never show negativity is insane. It's unhealthy to expect a big family to be happy all the time like that, but it is unfortunately an expectation in a cult like Mormonism.

I had to take care of the younger kids because young children need so much care and attention, but I was doing this at my own cost because I was still a child who needed time and attention too. 

Children deserve to be raised by adults who have the time and resources to care for them and support them through ALL emotions, not just happiness.

Everyone deserves to be able to express negative emotions and not be forced to appear happy all the time. 

Rename BYU. Brigham Young was a murderous white supremacist.

The Mormon prophet Brigham Young was a murderous white supremacist.

The Mormon University BYU is named after Brigham Young.

He was a white supremacist.

He taught that black people were inferior to white people and that interracial couples deserve "death on the spot".

It's disgusting that they haven't renamed that school. 

Mormon church says "pay up, or you won't see your family in heaven"

Here's an example of how the Mormon church uses the idea of forever families to manipulate their members.

The Mormon church teaches that to be a forever family you have to be sealed in the temple.

To be ~*woRtHy*~ of the temple you have to pass a worthiness interview.

When I was growing up, the only question in the worthiness interview that had a follow up meeting was the one about paying them money. It's "Tithing Settlement" in the cult jargon.

If you DON'T pay them money, YOU CAN'T BE WITH YOUR FAMILY FOREVER.

It's a cult.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

The Mormon church is an abusive cult.

- No mandatory reporting of sexual abuse.
- Members are taught to pay tithing money even if they can't feed their own children.
- No disavowal of white supremacists like Brigham Young. Racism, sexism, and bigotry.
- They teach people to ignore and suppress negative emotions rather than process them.
- They threaten you with eternal damnation and loss of your eternal family if you don't comply.
- Local bishops make you comply by threatening to take away your temple recommend. 

Yes, marital rape is a thing.

Yes, marital rape is a thing.

I did not enjoy my honeymoon. I had never learned to say no to sex. My freeze and fawn responses were alive and well.

Admitting that that was rape has taken me years.

 

I experienced marital rape because I was raised as a Mormon girl.

I was taught that women have to earn the fidelity of a husband and OWE him sex.

She is responsible for fulfilling his sexual desires.

Bishops are known to BLAME WIVES for a husband's infidelity.

I was never taught to say no.

What else would you expect. Mormonism was founded by rapist men who practiced predatory polygamy.

To be clear: when I say I experienced marital rape, that does not mean my husband is a rapist. I  married him because I think he is very good about consent and I felt comfortable with him.

It was not his fault that I felt obligated to say yes to sex on our honeymoon. 

I blame Mormon social pressure and cultural expectations about honeymoons for that. If I had not been brainwashed and groomed, I might have been able to clearly communicate the "no" I was feeling.

You don't owe anyone your discomfort. It's ok to leave people who make you uncomfortable out of your life.

 In other news, I had to leave another family chat because of all of the religious chatter... It's so hard sometimes, but it's a really important boundary for me to stick to for my own mental health. 

Free Art. There is no freedom OF religion without freedom FROM religion.

Please enjoy/share/use this art I made. It's a message that feels important to me right now.

Mandate Clergy Reporting, Utah!

Saturday, March 4, 2023

Salt Lake City, UT

1pm-2pm

Mormonism taught me contention was of the devil because if I had been taught to listen to my anger and discomfort I wouldn't have been so easy to manipulate.

You know who doesn't like anger? The people in power who benefit from oppression and the silence of victims.

There should be more anger in the world.

As I see it, we allow the wrong people to be angry.

Oppression exists, abuse exists, extortion exists, manipulation exists.

Yet often it is the perpetrators of aggression who express anger while the victims are expected to stay quiet. 

Predatory polygamy is a foundation of Mormonism. It explains SO MUCH.

 -Temple marriage secrecy.

-Joseph Smith's unpopularity.

-The migration to Utah.

-How generations of creepy old Mormon men got away with HAVING CHILDREN WITH TEENAGERS decades younger than them.

-Bishop's interviews allowing sexual questioning of teenagers one on one.

-Protection of sexual predators rather than victims.

-Systematic cover up of sexual abuse  

Used to have nightmares about being shouted down from the sacrament meeting pulpit for talking about problems with the church.

Those nightmares have stopped ever since I started posting to social media more.

I feel like I have a voice here.

Thanks for listening.   

Mormon Church fined by the SEC for hiding it's money

The Mormon church is NOT honest. 

"The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and its investment arm have been fined $5 million for using shell companies to obscure the size of the portfolio under church control, the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission announced."

Link to the AP news story.

Endowment has changed, but Mormon temple consent is still a joke.

 I wish I were happy about the endowment change, but I'm not.

Temple prep is still a joke.

That's where things should be explained, not on the day of!

People are under so much pressure to stay in the temple and bow their heads and say yes...

Mormon temple consent is a joke.

I think the church is afraid to provide actual informed consent about the temple because they know people wouldn't go if they knew what they were getting into.

They're banking on social pressure to keep people going because that's the currency cults run on. 
"I have to go through the weird ritual or I will be a disappointment to everyone!"

"I won't get into heaven unless I am obedient and jump through every hoop the group asks me to."

"I have to do the weird thing or else what will everyone think of me??"

Cult tactics 101.

My Grandma died. Mormonism is everywhere around me while we plan the funeral.

I'm playing a primary song at my grandma's funeral this weekend.

I'm so triggered and sad and numb.

This is my grandma with prominent polygamist ancestors.

She was molested by her grandfather.

Mormonism is woven into everything in this funeral.

I'm having a hard time.

Why I'm Still Unpacking

I picked the name "Unpacking Mormonism" for my blog about leaving Mormonism because being raised in the church is a sunk cost in my life that I wish I could leave behind (and have tried to do just that), but I realized that there are hardly any things in my life that the church didn't try to take over and control.

I actually CAN'T just ignore my upbringing as I work on moving forward.

I wish I could.

But to understand where I am at and how to improve, it helps to understand how I got here.

So that means I'm left doing a lot of "unpacking".

I end up still spending a lot of time reflecting on current emotional issues and tracing those feelings back to their roots.

Unsurprisingly, most of my emotional hang-ups are related to coping mechanisms or teachings from growing up Mormon.

Some of it also has to do with generational trauma, but even those issues are tightly tied to my Mormon ancestry.

My angry-Exmormoness ebbs and flows with the experiences I have in my life and how closely or not my emotions dip into areas related to my upbringing in the church.

I definitely am my own person. By that, I mean, I don't feel like I'm beholden to my past or my experiences. They don't dictate who I get to be.

I'm responsible for my life going forward.

I get to control my own choices.

But my emotions are also very real and not as easy for me to control or understand.

Sometimes things will hit me out of the blue that cripple me in unexpected ways and make it hard for me to live the life I want.

The biggest example of this is how it feels for me to be around my Mormon family.

Cognitively, I want to be able to make the choice to spend time around them as long as they respect my boundaries and treat me in healthy ways.

Emotionally, though, things aren't that simple.

Sometimes my emotions just aren't ready for certain situations.

For example, Christmas has been an off-and-on thing for me since I left Mormonism.

Some years things are fine, and other years, I'm left unpacking deep fears or sadness, or anger because of a single Christmas song.

I wish that didn't happen.

I wish I could just move on and choose to be unaffected by my past, but it doesn't work that way.

The best I can do is love myself, be patient, and keep on unpacking.