Leaving Mormonism has given me incredible freedom. Freedom to think and learn (Mormons are soooo scared of their own history and critical thinking applied to their doctrine), freedom to love (I don't have to judge people for their "sins"), freedom to make choices for myself instead of trying to fit in with the cookie-cutter life the church prescribes.
Lately I've been getting what I assume is the new cult canned response when I talk about Mormon history: "I'm sorry for your pain".
This is an incredibly dismissive response. They are trying to make it seem like leaving the church leads to a life of pain.
That response shows a complete lack of understanding of me and my life and what it's been like for me to leave the church.
No one's life is completely pain free. I have good days and bad days because that's what it's like to be human.
For me, it would have been A MILLION TIMES MORE PAINFUL TO STAY IN THE CULT.
I much prefer my freedom away from the racism, bigotry, and sexism inherent in all the cult doctrines of Mormonism.
Leaving caused healing, not pain.
My pain in relation to Mormonism is the frustration of seeing people I love live with their head in the sand while they give up control of their lives to a corrupt and dishonest cult that often hinders rather than helps them in being the good people they want to be.
I wish they had the freedom I now enjoy.
It's so painful to see that they are trapped in the places I used to be trapped, unable to show compassion where they would otherwise show compassion, afraid to ask intellectual questions they would otherwise be unafraid of interrogating.
I DON'T HAVE MY UNDERWEAR DICTATED TO ME BY OLD MEN. That one is so obviously culty and gross.
I don't have to believe that secret handshake are required to get into heaven.
I am not stuck defending people like Brigham Young. I'm free to deride him for the atrocious bloody, genocidal, white supremacist, sexual predator he was.
I don't pay tithing to an obscene wealth-hoarding real estate business under threat of never seeing my family again. I can give money to organizations that actually help people instead of hoarding wealth.
I TALK ABOUT THE CULT TO HELP OTHERS ESCAPE.
Reading and learning helped me leave, and I hope to help others in return as we try to build safe, compassionate, communities that are welcoming to all people.
I don't see a way to build those kinds of communities while following horrible cult doctrines taught in Mormonism and honoring the horrible men who taught them.
Cults don't want you to listen to people who leave it or to learn history or to use critical thinking applied to their "doctrine". Remember that. Criticism is important and necessary for healthy groups.
If Mormons want to make it about pity, just know that my pity is for the people trapped in the Mormon cult.
I'm very happy I escaped. My life is better not being in a cult.
Mormons: please stop falling in line with the church's talking points and actually learn to intellectually engage in conversations with people who have criticisms of your church. It has committed atrocities in the past and continues to cause harm that needs to be addressed, not ignored.